Anatomy of the Rock Ballad

This is just a short rant about some great rock ballads that everyone should have in their music collection. Really, there are only three conditions that have to be met for a song to be a rock ballad. Number one: it has to rock. That's the obvious one. I had to get it out of the way.

Number two: it has to be long. We're talking at least 6 or 7 minutes. Eight minutes is definitely in solid rock ballad territory. There aren't too many eight minute songs being played on the radio these days. Think about it. When was the last time you heard an 8 minute song on the radio other than on a classic rock station? My guess is it was before the world knew what an iPod was. Coincidence? Maybe. But I digress.

Number three: the song has to have a touchy-feely soft part. Okay maybe that's not the best name for it, but I'm sticking with it for now. Put it at the beginning. Put it at the end. I don't care. It's gotta be there.

So lets get on with this list of great rock ballads. It's a short list. A list of three. A rock trifecta. Here goes:

• Led Zeppelin Stairway to Heaven
• Guns N' Roses November Rain
• Queen Bohemian Rhapsody

Now I struggled a bit with adding Bohemian Rhapsody to the list. Technically it doesn't meet the six minute threshold. But hey, it's only a few seconds short. That's a rock ballad gimme. Freddie Mercury's watch was probably just running a bit slow. (Maybe it didn't have a second hand. We've all been there.)

I am not claiming this list is comprehensive. Give me a break. It's only got three songs. These are just the first songs came to my head. But isn't that what's important? If a song isn't memorable, that's a good indicator it's not very good song. And if it isn't memorable, it's definitely not a great rock ballad.



(Just a note to any band who might be offended for being left out of my list: Maybe you should have made your song rock a little harder, did you think of that? Maybe you should have added one more refrain so your song could have been longer, eh? And maybe you should have made your song, um, touchy-feely-er? Yeah, that's right. Maybe then I would have thought of your song first!)